Ce que je voulais te dire c'était de ne pas souffrir d'avantage pour moi où quiconque d'autre, que si tu sentais la maladie imbattable il fallait te reposer car le combat ne servait plus à rien. Mais s'il y avait un espoir et que tu te sentais capable d'endurer les souffrances ou handicaps, alors il fallait t'accrocher.Puis, quelque soit ton choix, j'ai anticipé la fin pour que, si ce malheur venait, nous puissions vivre ce dernier acte de la vie ensemble en pensées; pour que rien de nous ne soit vécu sans l'autre, comme nous l'avons toujours voulu.
Je ne vivrais jamais aussi bien que je l'ai été avec toi; jamais je ne m'étais sentis aussi libre, soutenu et aimé. Tant de points communs, de complémentarités, de fusions, je te vivais autant comme mon amour que ma soeur et mon amie.
J'étais fiers de toi, fiers d'être avec toi. Je n'ai jamais rencontré d'esprit comme le tien, aussi sein, honnête et droit. En plus, tu t'embellissais avec les années.
Nous avions tout pour pour atteindre la lumière, même si la vie sociale agissait régulièrement sur mes nerfs, nous allions assurément vers le merveilleux. Mais il a fallu que la maladie nous tue en chemin, en plein envol.
Je t'aime et t'aimerais toujours.
Ce genre de mots que j'ai retenus car je ne voulais pas nous dire adieu. Peur de t'effaryer, de te faire pleurer, peur que tout espoirs s'éteigne. Qu' aurais-je dû faire? Tout dire? Tout envisager de vive voix?
Il est trop tard maintenant, mais ma tête souffre de toujours s'interroger.
Il est trop tard maintenant, mais ma tête souffre de toujours s'interroger.
J'aimerais seulement pouvoir te demander
Comment te sens-tu?
Comment te sens-tu?
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